Friday, December 16, 2011

My turn to reflect....

WARNING: This post has nothing to do with Crossfit. I just had to get this out today so here it goes...

I walked into work today to horrific news. My friend's 3 yr old daughter died. No warning. She was perfectly healthy, and moreover, beautiful, smart, charming, and sweet. No murmurs. No lung issues. No prematurity. She was sick in the morning with a mild temperature, and a little cough. Mom and Dad put her to bed, as any good parent would. And when they went to check on her a few hours later, she was there, pale, cold, and pulseless. There was nothing that could be done.

I can not imagine the pain that Dr. Jose and his wife must be feeling right now. I am praying that they will find strength, peace, and the knowledge that their daughter is in a better place. If you have a moment, say a prayer for them too. I guess with the way the world is, God needs all his angels right now....

And please, count your blessings. Give that person that you love (wife, husband, sister, child, friend) an extra hug and kiss today. If you have a beef with someone, let it go. Relish in spending time with the people that mean the most to you. Call your mom and say I love you. Then tell your dad, brothers, sisters, spouses, kids, and friends. Do the same tomorrow. You never know when you will be able to tell them next....

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Priorities

Recently, a good friend asked me
"If you could buy one skill (i.e., more strength, hspu, etc) in crossfit, what would it be?"

Man, was it tempting. I thought, I'd buy myself some more strength. Or more rowing ability. Or 10 hspu's. And then I realized, when it came down to it, I wouldn't buy a thing.

Because what is it worth if you haven't worked for it?
I have recently found myself frustrated with this new "quick fix" philosophy that I am seeing so prevalent in our community. As I delve further and further into crossfit, I am realizing one thing and one thing alone. It's about the process.

Is the end result really all that important?

Every one has a different answer to this question. But for me, my favorite moments have revolved around the struggle. Watching someone do something rx'ed and struggle through it, watching them try and try and try and finally get a rep, watching someone finish a workout despite being past the time cap because they refused to get beat. Those are the moments I remember. Rarely is it a time on the board.

The common ground between these athletes is their display of that rare mix of bravery and vulnerability, class and balls out determination, and heart. It is that heart, that drive for excellence, that bravery that serves as my inspiration.

I have devoted the last 4 months of my life to attacking one major weakness. Strength.
It has been really hard. Despite all of my work, I still have MORE work to do. The squats HURT. I don't get to do met con's which are fun and provide an endorphin rush. Sometimes, I am alone in a room with a bar. It's boring. And frustrating. And not to mention, each session takes 3 hours. 

But through this PROCESS, I have learned discipline. I have learned the meaning of perfection. I have learned about conquering fear. I come in every day and try my absolute best.  I have learned what correct looks like, and I am striving to get there.

And I have realized that there are no instant results. No quick fixes. No easy road. It takes effort, and courage, and trust, and a lot of sacrifice.

And quite honestly, I find it offensive when others come in there and don't show that same degree of effort.
I find it offensive that coaches would have to call someone out on doing fewer reps or "cheating." Obviously, this doesn't include scaling, but you get the drift. I find it offensive when someone comes into the strength asylum, and doesn't understand what being there means: the effort and the initiative to do things correctly.

It is not only our privilege, but also our opportunity and furthermore, our responsibility, to be the best versions of ourselves. The outcome doesn't much matter but the process by which we attain those outcomes sure does.

What joy is there in a victory that is not earned?

Monday, November 14, 2011

Scurred!!!!!!

On Friday, 11/11/11, I had the wonderful opportunity to do a hero WOD. Rudy and Elisabeth encouraged me to try, and with their gentle, kind, nudging, I decided to do it. Now, I hadn't done a metcon in 4 months and have been doing only strength training. Finally, I decided that Sergeant Coe (the hero WOD I did) experienced a ton more pain than I would during this WOD. So, I said let's do this thing.

I was SO SCARED to do it. WTF? I have no idea why but I was almost in tears prior to starting. Seriously, why did I feel so disjointed? Maybe it was the lack of mental preparation? The fear of the physical pain that was about to ensue? The fear of failure? The fear of jumping in with two really accomplished athletes?

Do you see a common theme? FEAR....
What an interesting emotion. It was almost paralyzing. Almost.
So I started the workout. 10 Rounds of 10 thrusters/10 Ring pushups. 31:03.
And to my absolute delight, the thrusters at 55#'s were light. I could actually do about 30 ring pushups to standards. After that I had to drop to my knees but tried to keep the form correct. I proceeded through 4 rounds unbroken with the thrusters. This was not a light weight for me before, so I was really happy.

I did get gassed really really easy. For the first time, the weight did not limit me, it was my lungs and pure muscle fatigue.  I know it's a crappy time, but to be quite honest, I knew I was going to suffer after not crossfitting for so long. So i took it slow and concentrated on form and doing every rep right.

What I realized was that all that fear, all that emotion was pretty stupid. I got through it. I mean really, what was so scary? I learned that things are never as scary/hard/bad as they first seem. I remember people telling me how awful a certain workout would be, or how hard medical school was. But when you break it down, nothing is really all that hard. Amazing, how is it that we forget this as we get more "experienced?"


Elisabeth and I talked after and she reminded me to "trust my training and work, and ride it out." What good advice. And then I saw this by Mark Twain:

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not the absence of fear."

No one exemplifies this more than our troops. I can't imagine the fear they must confront and conquer on a daily basis. I don't know that I would be brave enough. Thank you friends, for showing me the meaning of courage. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Focus!

I need to restore my focus. I have found that for the last month, I have been distracted. I've been bringing my personal crap into the gym. That needs to stop. The gym, especially the strength area, really is a sacred space.

I love my crossfit friends. And I am so blessed to be part of a community that is really, truly like my family. Naturally I want to touch base and talk and connect. But last Sunday, there was just too much talking. Plain and simple.

When I look at the athletes I really really admire, like Elisabeth and Glenn, they approach their training like I approach surgery. As I am prepping and draping and the minutes before I do an operation, I am thinking, planning, and preparing for every possible scenario. Most of the time, too much talking really bothers me because I am so focussed.

The amount of focus that these two have while they work is written all over their faces. Heck, I'm not even really allowed to talk to Glenn while he's lifting except for a quick kiss hello. They are preparing, planning, and thinking about the task at hand. They are all there. Mind, body, spirit and heart.

I used to think I am "all there." But actually, I wonder what would happen if I shut up and lift. Leave all that other crap outside. Focus on the task at hand. Talk to people when I'm done. And just shut up and lift.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Grace!

-85#'s, 8:23
What a fun experience. Every time I actually do a crossfit competition, I always am SO glad I did it. It is an incredibly rewarding feeling throughout- before, during, and after! I felt so lucky to have so many people cheering me on this weekend, I can't even say enough thank you's. I mean, here I was struggling with the last 10 reps of that workout, and every time I got that weight up, everyone went crazy. Donna kept me grounded. Glenn coached me through it. (He hates to coach me and I was so happy when he actually did.) Kurt kept yelling "Strong like Bull!"  Tery was counting me down. Ali G. was taping me! Joy and Gina were gushing with pride (as was I when I watched them!) My sister, Anita,  was being her loud, wonderful self! My fellow competitor (wish I knew her name!) came over as soon as she finished and cheered my last rep. Elisabeth and Julie F. were right there with me. In fact, Julie F. came to me afterwards and told me how inspired she was by what I did. I was like "really?" And here I was disappointed with my time....Gut check.  So that was the good stuff. More good stuff includes doing the wod at 85#'s, just 10lbs off of the rx'ed weight and 10 lbs below my PR.




I did my best to be there for everyone else as well, as best I could. I loved "coaching" Lisa through her Grace and helping her get a 5 minute time! I loved cheering on my little sister, and providing reassurance as she looked at me after every rep! I loved helping Ali G get through her rx'ed version! What an awesome experience!

But, as in life, there is always something to be done better. Something that you can use for your next go at it.
Here's what I learned.
-The nerves before hand suck. But I must find a way to remember the little things about form, not pressing out the weight, game plan, etc. It's not quite muscle memory yet, so I have to actively remind myself of some of those things, just like I would in surgery or when I used to act.
-Confidence. Enough said.
-As cliche as it is, I wish I could have pushed through a little harder, and paused less. My brain shut off though. It was weird. I want to start thinking during the wod...as weird as that sounds. I got 20 reps in 4 minutes, 10 reps in the last 4. Don't know if this was metabolic conditioning or just a bad game plan or strength or all three, but suffice it to say, I could have pushed through the breaks better. Maybe split jerk them all next time?
-I need to remember to set my back better, and work on not pressing out the jerk.

What will you do differently next time?

Finally, I have to give a big shout out to Barbells for Boobs. This is a company of 2 people. These are two people that are changing the world, and I was glad to be part of that. Way to go friends, and sign me up for next year!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Leap of Faith

I did my first case as an attending this week. It wasn't a big case, nor particularly elegant, but a big deal to me nonetheless. I literally had to step back and trust my training. I had to take a leap of faith and trust myself.

I was super nervous. I think there would be something wrong with me if I hadn't been. I thought about how to approach it. Struggled a bit, but overall, it wasn't bad. And since I hadn't operated in 3 months, I certainly forgot a few things. But more or less, I did it. With a 3rd year resident with few laparoscopic skills! Thank goodness for Grace Chang who scrubbed as well, so when I had moments of uncertainty, we could figure it out together.

What a great day! I learned so much about myself. So much about what I know. I learned so much about trusting myself. I realized that I could trouble shoot. That I had patience. That I could fix it if something bad happened. That I had good judgement.

I still need to work on gauging where the residents are. I still need to work on my own technique a bit. I could have gotten in the belly a bit better. I could have trusted the resident a little less...but all things considered, not bad.

I hope to be a bad ass in a few years, struggle through this time, and get to the point where I've seen it all and done it all on my own. :=)

Monday, October 10, 2011

GRRRR!!!!

I often used to say that when getting ready for an ultimate tournament. Back when I used to play for Nemesis, I used to get myself psyched by challenging any dumb b**** to jump higher, run faster, or play harder than me. I would literally stand across the field and mentally challenge the other girl to do better. It was a sort of quiet confidence that would overtake me, and usually...little old me would rise up to the task. I played a lot on that team back in the day that we routinely made it to the quarters and semis at Nationals. But the reason I played well was that almost diva-esque cockiness....and I was scrappy as all hell. There was a big fight in this tiny dog....

I feel that I have lost a little of that confidence with Crossfit. I mean seeing the likes of EA and Erin C., can be awfully intimidating. But I will say, this lack of confidence is not helping me. It only hinders my progress...And here's how...

I missed my 105# power cleans yesterday, got only 5/9. It was a bad motor pattern. The more I missed, the more I failed, and the more I reinforced bad motor patterns. And then mentally I thought, esp when Rudy was watching "Don't do it wrong, don't do it wrong." Instead of "I KNOW how to do this. Rip it off the ground Anj. Bring it."

So, here's a new promise. I dare you to be better than me. And even if you are this time, don't worry. I'll get you next time. Whether you are a barbell, a competitor, or a doubter. I think we all need a little bit of that fire, that attitude to reach our full potential.
Bring it.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Prevention

So, I got sick again. This time it was a sinus infection after my allergies acted up. Not cool. And worse, it's messing with my training. This post is not going to be about how much that sucked, or how shitty I feel coming back....but rather, about prevention.

This is not ok by me. I feel very passionate about my training. I don't want any more setbacks. And now it's time to put my money where my mouth is and do everything I can to prevent this. Coach Rudy thinks I may be "overbusy," and may have something to do with sleep patterns. I don't feel that I am that busy anymore, I hardly work 40 hrs per week. I don't get stressed at work any more, like I used to. I feel that I have become pretty proficient at managing stress...as Ali G told said this weekend "Anj, you're a professional stress manager." (I guess I didn't get frazzled with all the wedding "stress"- ha if they only knew!)

BUT...that doesn't mean my body doesn't respond to stress. I think I am very sensitive to stress...physically. Although emotionally I can handle it, I think my body hates those elevated cortisol levels, and the second I get a little less sleep or am exposed to a bug, game over.

So here's what I'm going to do:
-I will get 8-9 hrs of sleep a night as often as possible.
-I will say no to people when I need to so I can keep focussed, and so as not to over extend myself.
-I will go straight from work to the gym, so I can get home earlier and in bed earlier.
-I will schedule less, and relax more.
-I will wash my hands like crazy (I already do), so I don't get exposed to badness.
-I will get 8-9hrs of sleep a night as often as possible...

I'm hoping this will help. Please let me know if you can think of anything else to help....How do YOU keep yourself healthy???!!!! I am willing to try anything right now!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Catch-22

Oh you know what I'm talking about. You catch a cold or a stomach bug. You do your dilligence and take a few days (in my case 1 week) off. You feel significantly better but in your heart you know you are not 100%. But you for some reason feel the need to get back to the gym....

You work out anyway. Why? Because you're sick of laying around. Because you don't want to regress. Because you're an addict. Because you think maybe it will magically help. And of course, when faced with the option of scaling back the weight...you feel like a huge wus!

I mean, it's a tough situation. For me, I really didn't want all the work I put in to go away. I didn't want to regress. But the truth is, I wasn't ready to lift again. I was still congested and my body was weak, although getting better. My lifts yesterday were shitty. All that work on form went away, and my debilitated body was just moving load to move load. I haven't done that for a long time, and it was not fun. Nor was it productive. I just felt bad about the session, and less confident in my lifts. Thank goodness I don't feel worse today.

I should have either 1.) rested a few more days 2.) scaled the weight and just reinforced good movement patterns. Probably the latter.

Rudy told me so. I'm sorry coach, you have my full trust and I did not mean to be disrespectful. I just got antsy!

Part of getting strong is mental strength. It's treating your body well, and giving it what it needs. To overcome the "weak" urge to do something that will be counter-productive. Remember, there is only one goal, and I shouldn't be doing anything that isn't working towards it. The goal is to stick to the goal....

Live and learn I suppose....

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Do strong people get sick less?

So, I'm home sick. Per our cult leader, Rudy Tapalla, no lifting for me today. Not until I'm recovered.
That bears the obvious question: do strong people catch fewer colds and illnesses?
I mean, I never see Rudy or Glenn or Bryce or Alex sick.
Glenn will sneeze twice in one day and then it's over for him. He actually gave me this cold that I have right now, and it hit me way harder. 
Now Wikipedia (very scientific, I know) tells me that people with STRONGER immune systems develop colds more frequently due to the strong inflammatory response to the cold virus. People under high stress (aka high cortisol levels) are also more likely to develop infections due to the relative immunosuppressive effects of cortisol.
Wait a second, I thought a STRONG immune response to the virus causes the cold.
Now to make things even more complex, it seems that athletes (esp endurance athletes and those that do high intensity interval training) are more susceptible to colds, due to decreased IgA levels in their mouths and noses. Interesting.
So, I'm really no better off than where I started with trying to understand who, what, and why? I suppose I'd win a Nobel prize if I could figure it out. But alas, I'm bored with this so on to something else....
A few final words for thought....courtesy of Sir Oliver Wendell Holmes

"I firmly believe that if the whole of materia medica, as now used, could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be all the better for mankind - and all the worse for the fishes"

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I never want to do a MetCon again!

Kidding. Kidding. But this strength stuff is getting fun! Like really, really fun!
So many changes...
1.) Glenn actually used my squat as a good example the other day! Yay for positive reinforcement!
2.) The press movements are actually getting better, in that I can keep my elbows in and do the movement correctly.
3.) I can actually do a few pretty decent strict TTB's. I couldn't do this a few weeks ago.
4.) Overhand pullups? No problem.

So where to from here?
More weight of course.
A few things I have learned in my edumacation about this stuff...
 --Stress causes adaptation, which is why you have to continue to increase the stress (aka add weight)
 --The squat is the most important exercise one will ever learn. To do it correctly is essential!
 --Sets of 5 work both the anaerobic and aerobic pathways.
 --It is preferable to take small jumps and sustain the progress rather than to take bigger jumps and get stuck early.
 --It is easier to not get stuck than to get unstuck
 --Stronger does not necessarily mean more weight on the bar

Ok, that's enough for today. It's getting heavy folks, I'm loving it!


Sunday, August 21, 2011

STRONG, STRONG, STRONG

Rudy actually said our squats are looking "so much better!" So excited to actually see the motor pattern improving. Next week is the true test where the weight is going to get on the heavy side...I thought it would be a lot harder to stay interested in doing the same workout over and over and over. It really hasn't been so bad. It's kind of like doing the same operation over and over, it's different every time. You learn something new every time. New things come up every time. I haven't yet gotten bored (partly thanks to Gina P). And I'm seeing improvement which is quite motivating.

Still want to work on my press movements. Amazing how sore my back muscles get during the bench and press movements. I need to remember to keep my elbows in on both movements. My triceps were actually sore yesterday, so that was a good sign. My legs are usually smoked by the time I get to the DL, so one set is plenty.

Gotta get back to reading the text for a while, now that my brain has recovered from all the studying from the boards. I might get the dvd too...we'll see.

Am loving all the chatter about strength and performance on the blog. It makes me even more sure that this was the right decision for me. 




Sunday, August 14, 2011

Operation Strong Like Bull, Day 1, Take 2

That's right. You heard me. We started over. 3 important lessons learned here.
  1. Read the book before starting
  2. Don't read the internet instead of the book.
  3. And don't move weight just to move weight.
So, we started over. At 70% of our 1 RM on ALL movements. We will add 2.5% either each session or each week, both of which are acceptable in the Starting Strength Bible.
Back Squat: 3x5 at 103 (33x5, 33x5, 83x3, work sets)
Bench Press: 3x5 at 63 (33x5, 33x5, 43x5, work sets)
Ring Rows: 3x5 at BW
3x5 TTB, or in my case legs as high as I can get them, slowly, deliberately, with no kip.
3x8 Back extensions


It sucked to start over. But I'd rather fix the issues now, and train the right muscles.
This is a bull



We have a long way to go.....