The Open has kicked off this week once again! Man, a year flies by! Last year at this time, I decided that I wanted to be able to come back this year and do the Open Rx'ed. I knew this was not going to be an easy feat, given that many of the weighted movements were at or above body weight for me last year. But the journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, so I devoted myself wholeheartedly to strength training. I spent six months squatting, pressing and deadlifting. I came back to metcon's on January 1st of this year. This was also ridiculously difficult, and I found that I had almost lost my gas tank entirely.
Enter 12.1 of "The Open." 7 minutes of burpees. One year ago, I would have been excited about this workout. I think I probably would have hit 100 reps.This year though, I struggled and finished with 84 reps, just short of my 90 rep goal. Gutcheck. And I was gassed!
This was really, really demoralizing to me. I realized that I am still not in shape, and really it was by sheer strength that I got to 84, but really? I couldn't do one more burpee per minute? In this process, what did I give up? What did I gain? What feels worse, the inability to pick up a heavy barbell or the inability to crush body weight workouts? To tell you the truth, they both feel pretty crappy. So where do I focus? What can I accept?
When I look at the athlete I want to be, I realize that absolute strength will likely never be my thing. I probably am not ever going to outlift girls like Elisabeth Akinwale and Angie Sorenson. But, where will I able to beat those girls so things even out? It will have to be with 7 minutes of burpees. Or 100 pullups. It will be workouts like 12.1. I guess that's why losing this battle is bugging me so much. However, in order to eventually win the war, don't I STILL need more strength? Won't further strength gains translate into everything I do?
And is it any surprise that I lost this one? I haven't been working on it. How could I? One goal at a time, right? Last year, my strength held me back. This year, my strength is better but not nearly enough AND I don't have a gas tank. I feel stuck in the middle ground of not really being exceptional at anything. There isn't anything right now that I say to myself, yes I'm gonna crush that. I'm just not there yet. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever be.
So I guess the biggest question becomes, how can I be the best version of myself? The version that crushes body weight stuff and gets through the strength stuff? How do I develop a plan for myself that maximizes what God gave me?
This is hard. This is why people don't get better, because it is really hard to step back and do what you have to do to improve. It causes short term failure. I am hoping for long term success, but it is hard to keep the faith.
I suppose the thing I have to realize is that this was never a 6 month or 1 year plan. I'm probably just about half way through. Maybe a little less. I have a lot more work to do. So, this year the goal is simply to stay on the board. To not DNF anything because it is outside of my capability. That is the checkpoint on the way to becoming the bad ass I want to be.
The goal is to stick to the goal....
