Grace!

-85#'s, 8:23
What a fun experience. Every time I actually do a crossfit competition, I always am SO glad I did it. It is an incredibly rewarding feeling throughout- before, during, and after! I felt so lucky to have so many people cheering me on this weekend, I can't even say enough thank you's. I mean, here I was struggling with the last 10 reps of that workout, and every time I got that weight up, everyone went crazy. Donna kept me grounded. Glenn coached me through it. (He hates to coach me and I was so happy when he actually did.) Kurt kept yelling "Strong like Bull!"  Tery was counting me down. Ali G. was taping me! Joy and Gina were gushing with pride (as was I when I watched them!) My sister, Anita,  was being her loud, wonderful self! My fellow competitor (wish I knew her name!) came over as soon as she finished and cheered my last rep. Elisabeth and Julie F. were right there with me. In fact, Julie F. came to me afterwards and told me how inspired she was by what I did. I was like "really?" And here I was disappointed with my time....Gut check.  So that was the good stuff. More good stuff includes doing the wod at 85#'s, just 10lbs off of the rx'ed weight and 10 lbs below my PR.

I did my best to be there for everyone else as well, as best I could. I loved "coaching" Lisa through her Grace and helping her get a 5 minute time! I loved cheering on my little sister, and providing reassurance as she looked at me after every rep! I loved helping Ali G get through her rx'ed version! What an awesome experience!

But, as in life, there is always something to be done better. Something that you can use for your next go at it.
Here's what I learned.
-The nerves before hand suck. But I must find a way to remember the little things about form, not pressing out the weight, game plan, etc. It's not quite muscle memory yet, so I have to actively remind myself of some of those things, just like I would in surgery or when I used to act.
-Confidence. Enough said.
-As cliche as it is, I wish I could have pushed through a little harder, and paused less. My brain shut off though. It was weird. I want to start thinking during the wod...as weird as that sounds. I got 20 reps in 4 minutes, 10 reps in the last 4. Don't know if this was metabolic conditioning or just a bad game plan or strength or all three, but suffice it to say, I could have pushed through the breaks better. Maybe split jerk them all next time?
-I need to remember to set my back better, and work on not pressing out the jerk.

What will you do differently next time?

Finally, I have to give a big shout out to Barbells for Boobs. This is a company of 2 people. These are two people that are changing the world, and I was glad to be part of that. Way to go friends, and sign me up for next year!

Leap of Faith

I did my first case as an attending this week. It wasn't a big case, nor particularly elegant, but a big deal to me nonetheless. I literally had to step back and trust my training. I had to take a leap of faith and trust myself.

I was super nervous. I think there would be something wrong with me if I hadn't been. I thought about how to approach it. Struggled a bit, but overall, it wasn't bad. And since I hadn't operated in 3 months, I certainly forgot a few things. But more or less, I did it. With a 3rd year resident with few laparoscopic skills! Thank goodness for Grace Chang who scrubbed as well, so when I had moments of uncertainty, we could figure it out together.

What a great day! I learned so much about myself. So much about what I know. I learned so much about trusting myself. I realized that I could trouble shoot. That I had patience. That I could fix it if something bad happened. That I had good judgement.

I still need to work on gauging where the residents are. I still need to work on my own technique a bit. I could have gotten in the belly a bit better. I could have trusted the resident a little less...but all things considered, not bad.

I hope to be a bad ass in a few years, struggle through this time, and get to the point where I've seen it all and done it all on my own. :=)

GRRRR!!!!

I often used to say that when getting ready for an ultimate tournament. Back when I used to play for Nemesis, I used to get myself psyched by challenging any dumb b**** to jump higher, run faster, or play harder than me. I would literally stand across the field and mentally challenge the other girl to do better. It was a sort of quiet confidence that would overtake me, and usually...little old me would rise up to the task. I played a lot on that team back in the day that we routinely made it to the quarters and semis at Nationals. But the reason I played well was that almost diva-esque cockiness....and I was scrappy as all hell. There was a big fight in this tiny dog....

I feel that I have lost a little of that confidence with Crossfit. I mean seeing the likes of EA and Erin C., can be awfully intimidating. But I will say, this lack of confidence is not helping me. It only hinders my progress...And here's how...

I missed my 105# power cleans yesterday, got only 5/9. It was a bad motor pattern. The more I missed, the more I failed, and the more I reinforced bad motor patterns. And then mentally I thought, esp when Rudy was watching "Don't do it wrong, don't do it wrong." Instead of "I KNOW how to do this. Rip it off the ground Anj. Bring it."

So, here's a new promise. I dare you to be better than me. And even if you are this time, don't worry. I'll get you next time. Whether you are a barbell, a competitor, or a doubter. I think we all need a little bit of that fire, that attitude to reach our full potential.
Bring it.

Prevention

So, I got sick again. This time it was a sinus infection after my allergies acted up. Not cool. And worse, it's messing with my training. This post is not going to be about how much that sucked, or how shitty I feel coming back....but rather, about prevention.

This is not ok by me. I feel very passionate about my training. I don't want any more setbacks. And now it's time to put my money where my mouth is and do everything I can to prevent this. Coach Rudy thinks I may be "overbusy," and may have something to do with sleep patterns. I don't feel that I am that busy anymore, I hardly work 40 hrs per week. I don't get stressed at work any more, like I used to. I feel that I have become pretty proficient at managing stress...as Ali G told said this weekend "Anj, you're a professional stress manager." (I guess I didn't get frazzled with all the wedding "stress"- ha if they only knew!)

BUT...that doesn't mean my body doesn't respond to stress. I think I am very sensitive to stress...physically. Although emotionally I can handle it, I think my body hates those elevated cortisol levels, and the second I get a little less sleep or am exposed to a bug, game over.

So here's what I'm going to do:
-I will get 8-9 hrs of sleep a night as often as possible.
-I will say no to people when I need to so I can keep focussed, and so as not to over extend myself.
-I will go straight from work to the gym, so I can get home earlier and in bed earlier.
-I will schedule less, and relax more.
-I will wash my hands like crazy (I already do), so I don't get exposed to badness.
-I will get 8-9hrs of sleep a night as often as possible...

I'm hoping this will help. Please let me know if you can think of anything else to help....How do YOU keep yourself healthy???!!!! I am willing to try anything right now!